Should Have Said
by slackerD
Summary: Beca receives an invitation that she never wanted.


**Title:** Should Have Said  
**Author:** slacker_d  
**Pairing/Characters:** past Beca/Aubrey, Chloe, Fat Amy  
**Summary:** Beca receives an invitation that she never wanted.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine.  
**Word Count:** ~1,895  
**A/N:** Prompt from Hailsbails01: _Hey I was listening to this song and it made me think of mitchsen. "Never told you"(iTunes session) by colbie calliat._  
**2nd A/N:** flashbacks in italics

* * *

When Beca opens the invitation, it's like a punch in the gut. Though it isn't necessarily a surprise. Chloe's been warning Beca for _months_that it's only a matter of time before Aubrey becomes engaged. Beca had been comforting herself with the knowledge that Aubrey's been with Oliver for over three years with no real signs of commitment. They don't even live together.

But now, holding an invitation to her wedding, Beca can no longer deny that she's truly lost Aubrey. If she ever had her had all.

"You never really did," Chloe tells her over the phone.

Beca sighs. The red head has lost all patience with Beca and her pining. It's understandable since it's been almost five years. But Beca isn't that great at letting things go and is even worse at forming meaningful connections. She blames it on her guilt of fleeing Barden and abandoning the Bellas half way through her sophomore year. Her dad has never really forgiven her for it and Beca knows that the Bellas felt betrayed and confused by her actions.

Beca wishes she could have explain it to them, but she's only recently been able to articulate it to herself. Chloe knew, of course, but the red head has always seemed to have better insight into Beca's feelings than Beca herself does. It's annoyingly helpful.

"I'm not going," Beca replies.

It's Chloe's turn to sigh. "_Beca_."

"She only invited me because she invited _all_ the Bellas," Beca points out. "Besides, I can't... I can't face the rest of them either."

"Your cowardliness is getting _really_ old, Mitchell," Chloe replies.

"It's not _just_ because I'm..." Beca tries. "My presence will be upsetting. I don't want to be the cause of any drama at Aubrey's wedding."

"How do you think it'll look if you don't go?" Chloe questions.

"Like I'm a chicken shit," Beca retorts. "Which is accurate."

"Aubrey wants you there," Chloe says.

"Of course she does," Beca huffs.

"I can rein in the Bellas," Chloe replies. "At least until the reception and the alcohol starts flowing."

"Really?" Beca is skeptical. "Even Amy?"

"Sure. Hopefully. Well... possibly."

Becca remains quiet.

"Fine, probably not," Chloe replies. "But maybe she'll keep calm at first, in deference to it being Aubrey's wedding."

"I'm still not going."

"You have no one to blame, but yourself," Chloe tells her.

"I know."

"If you'd just _told_ her how you really felt..."

"I know," Beca sighs.

"Or maybe said something in all the years since," Chloe continues.

"I _know_, Chloe," Beca huffs. "I know. Okay?"

"Don't get mad at me, Beca Mitchell," Chloe snaps. "You need someone to call you on your crap."

"Yes, well, I never thought it'd be _you_," Beca retorts.

"Insulting me won't stop me," Chloe says.

"Why can't you just let it go?" Beca whines. "I have."

Chloe scoffs. "Now you're just lying to yourself, Beca."

"Why does it matter?" Beca sighs. "She's getting married."

"I suppose it doesn't," Chloe replies. "Especially since you're so reluctant to deal with it, even now."

"It's in the past."

Chloe sighs and Beca feels _years_ of frustration coming from her. "Whatever you say, Beca. I have to go."

"All right," Beca says. "Thanks for—"

"Don't even, Mitchell," Chloe interjects. "I can't handle any more of your lies today."

"Chloe..."

"We'll talk next week," Chloe says.

"Okay."

It's one of the few times that Chloe has technically hung up on Beca and like every time before, it stings a bit.

**…**

_Hooking up with Aubrey is definitely_ not _something that Beca ever expected to happen. While the brunette can admit that there's definitely something between them, Beca always assumed that the pulling passion between them was related more to their love of music and the desperate need to get their own way. Admitting to herself that Aubrey is pretty is hardly seems akin to the ravenous desire that Chloe claims is hanging between them._

_Then again, Beca tends to be a bit emotionally retarded. (Jesse's words, not hers. She supposes that's why they didn't even last until the end of the school year.)_

_But as Aubrey presses her against the wall and slides her hand into Beca's panties, the brunette has to wonder_ (very _briefly) if she's read her entire relationship with Aubrey the wrong way._

**…**

_"Why are you drunk dialing me?"_

_"Cause," Beca sniffs. "I'm... I can't... and she doesn't even..."_

_Chloe groans. "It's four in the morning, Beca._

_Some of us are graduating in a few hours."_

_"So why did you answer?" Beca questions._

_"Because I know that you and Amy went out drinking. I thought you were calling because you needed someone to bail you out."_

_"Oh," Beca says. "Luckily, I'm too depressed to be interesting, so I got drunk alone at the bar while Amy made a few new friends._

_"If you're just calling to mope..."_

_"I don't know why I'm calling, actually."_

_"Then I'm hanging up," Chloe replies._

_"C'mon, red," Beca says. "Don't be like that."_

_Chloe sighs. "Beca I love you, though at the moment, I'm really_

_unclear as to why, but as my dad likes to say, you have to either shit or get off the pot."_

_Beca pulls her cell phone away from her ear and stares at it bemused before switching ears and retorting, "There's an image."_

_"I'm serious, Beca," Chloe insists. "You need to either tell her how you feel or get over it."_

_"I can't," Beca whines. "I know she doesn't feel the same way."_

_"If you're so sure," Chloe says. "Then accept it and move on."_

_"But what if she does?" Beca protests._

_"We are not playing the what if game about whether or not Aubrey has feelings for you at... four seventeen in the morning."_

_"But..."_

_"So if this is the only reason you called, I'm hanging up now."_

_Beca is silent for a moment. "Okay," she says, dejectedly. "Sorry."_

_Chloe sighs again. "Good night, Beca."_

**…**

_"Why the long face, oh captain, my captain?" Fat Amy asks, plopping down on the steps next to Beca._

_Beca shoots her a strange look._

_Fat Amy shrugs. "I watched_

_Dead Poet's Society last night."_

_Beca nods. (She's seen it at least a dozen times. It's her dad's favorite movie.)_

_"So..." Fat Amy tries._

_Beca returns to staring at the ground._

_"Oookkaaay then," Fat Amy says. "Don't tell me. But it's hood night and I think the new girls have real potential. So this is a night that should be full of excitement and singing and lots of booze."_

_"Don't let me stop you," Beca retorts._

_"It's not me that I'm worried about," Fat Amy replies. "How do you think it looks that the current captain of last year's ICCA winners is sitting here, on hood night, looking like her dog just got run over after being diagnosed with caner?"_

_"I don't look like that," Beca protests._

_"Look Mitchell," Fat Amy says, more serious than Beca's ever seen her. "You miss her. I get it. We all do. But it's over and she's gone."_

_"I don't..."_

_Fat Amy holds up her hand. "I have a feeling I'm better off not knowing, there are some things about Aubrey that I just don't want to know, but you need to get over it... or at least pretend that you are. It's a new year and another chance for the Bellas to kick ass. Not to feed that damn ego of yours, but you're an intricate part of that plan."_

_"Thanks," Beca replies, voice full of regret._

_"Last year you wanted to change the face of a cappella," Fat Amy reminds her. "Well this year is your chance."_

_"I guess."_

_Fat Amy groans in frustration. "Suit yourself. There's drinking and dancing to be done."_

_Beca watches her go, the blonde's aggravation radiating off her in waves. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your point of view, Beca is still very used to disappointing people. And so, once Fat Amy has been swallowed up by the crowd, Beca forgets about the blonde's disapproval and returns to her staring._

**…**

Beca knows that Chloe will be extremely disappointed in her refusal to attend the wedding, but Beca just couldn't make herself go. And there is a small part of her that believes it's better that way; less chance of there being crazy Bella drama at the wedding. Beca's pretty sure that if she did make an appearance, there would _definitely_ be drama.

She spends the day in mourning, watching a _Golden Girls_ marathon and drinking Jack straight from the bottle. Despite getting up as late as possible, she's still very drunk by early afternoon. Thankfully, she shut her phone off and hid it under her mattress. The fact that she remembers this isn't enough to propel her to actually stand and search out the device. It might be the sick feeling in her stomach or maybe it's because the room has gotten a bit fuzzy around the edges. She closes her eyes, hoping a short nap will help.

It's dark when she opens her eyes again. Beca blinks and tries to focus on the TV. It's now playing _Mary Tyler Moore_. The only light in the room is from the TV and the eerie glow isn't helping Beca pull herself out of her pathetic stupor. She blinks a few times trying to clear her vision, but it doesn't help and Beca concludes that she might still be drunk.

She also has to pee. She stands, slowly and unsteady. She takes her time getting to the bathroom, deciding that she is most definitely still drunk as she stumbles into the door frame. Maybe she should have eaten something before she started this pity party.

She could eat something now, but her stomach is still feeling pretty gnarly and she, honestly, barely cares; being sober doesn't really appeal to her at the moment.

In her bedroom, she grabs a pillow and a blanket, which she throws in the couch. In the kitchen, the remaining Jack goes into the largest glass she can find and she fills the rest with pink lemonade because, besides some random condiments and _very_ expired milk, it is the only thing in her fridge and maybe she needs to decelerate her drinking a bit. She staggers back to the couch and sits slowly, still not feeling very steady.

_Mary Tyler Moore_ isn't really doing it for her, so she begins channel surfing. She finally settles on sumo wrestling because, why not.

Since her drink is mostly Jack, it isn't long before Beca's completely smashed again. When she tries to set her cup down, she misses the floor and it ends up rolling away. It's just one more thing she can worry about tomorrow.

The sumo wrestling has finished and the TV is now playing competitive fly fishing. Beca's not sure if it's because she's _insanely_ wasted, or what, but she can't seem to wrap her mind around the concept of _competitive_ fly fishing. She looks around for the remote, but her eyes don't seem to be cooperating. Hoping it'll be over soon, she flops onto her side and awkwardly situates herself on the pillow before covering herself with the blanket.

She eventually falls asleep again, the last thing she remembers is wondering what line management is while watching a commercial for the fastest reel out there.


End file.
